Bivalve molluscs don't have pearls

Have you ever cleaned mussels? Perhaps before a BBQ?

As you stood there pulling away the beard did you think of Women? Did you feel a strange sort of liberation, tearing the hair so easily from the bivalve. A little brutal perhaps, but mussels don't have nerve endings. They also don't have pearls. Imagine if they did. Little albino spheres, there for pleasure. But no need for wax. Only a firm pair of hands.